A Change In Scenery

Update: I’ve moved over to a new domain. Check out my comics there!

It seems that After four months of solid work, the idea of me maintaining a consistent blog began to diverge from how I want to spend my free time (or at least the free time that I choose to use productively.) Because of this, we will be seeing some changes around here.

As I have previously mentioned, I have been given the job of opinions editor at the Western Gazette for next year, and writing pieces for that on top of this seems a bit much, so I’m changing the direction of this site. I am going to begin doing comics and comics only, not with a certain schedule, but whenever I feel like it (You should end up getting more than 2 posts a week like this, so it’s not a bad thing. Just more of a creative thing.)

Tomorrow I buy an inking pen, and then it begins. See you all soon!

Staque du Fromage

Predictions

Summer thingies: As was previously noted in the post that I forgot to submit to Facebook, I have absolutely lost my bearings on what day of the week it is. Luckily, I realized that Tuesday had come along, and using my amazing writing skills, threw together this lovely blog post on… well… I don’t actually know what I’m going to talk about yet, but I’ll come up with something before I start the next paragraph.

Just give me the names of two celebrities, a travel destination, and a common cause of death, then we’ll be good.

When I walk along on my own, as is the case with most people, my mind tends to wander aimlessly about. One thought hit me the other day, and I figured I’d share it.

Being in a media program is quite different from most programs because people attempt to teach us to predict the future and stay ahead of the curve. In these instances, I look back on the poor souls who stood basically no chance of making these predictions, and recreate their situations in my mind. These are some of those situations.

A watchmaker during the recession in the early 90’s:

“Business is grinding to a halt. I don’t know if I’ going to be able to get by this month. The mortgage payments are staggering on the new house, and a single father can’t feed two children with crippling debt. No, don’t talk to yourself like that. You’ll get out of this. People will always need to know the time, and there’s not, and there never will be a device that will allow people to check the time at any time like a watch can. You can make it through this!”

Anyone right before the Great Depression:

“This stock market thing just seems like free money to me.”

Christopher Columbus:

“Yeah, it’ll just be a short trip around the world to India. No, mom, no one will get hurt. Yes, we have enough fruit to keep everyone healthy and scurvy-free. Alright, see you next week. Don’t worry.”

Cartographers:

“A swift and steady hand and mind are the only way that people will ever be able to navigate their way across the globe.”

The people secretly working on Jurassic Park IV:

“You don’t think anyone will notice if we just put feathers on the raptors, right? We’ll just pretend they were always there.”

Summer Checklist 2012

You know that feeling when you’re in between school and starting work, and you forget which day of the week it is? Yeah, that’s why this post is coming at you at noon instead of midnight. It’s still Friday though—I think— so I guess I didn’t mess up too badly.

Vacation is officially here for me, which is odd, because at this point in my life, vacation really means “work weekends and random days of the week until your emotional and physical being has been shattered so that you can afford luxury during the upcoming school year.”

It’s hard to say that this is all bad, as I have some pretty chill bros working with me, and the weather is pretty swell. I guess all that one can do in preparation for the summer months is prepare a list of goals, then meet more or less half of them by September due to crippling indifference.

So here it is, my list of goals.

1. Get paid- take on as many shifts at work as humanly possible in order to obtain currency.
2. Get ripped- Drop my exam weight and get a six-pack. (Editor’s note: This goal circa 2009)
3. Get out- Get a tan for once. Holy crap you’re pale. Stop watching baseball and Youtube videos and get out into the sun.
4. Get clean- I’m tired of living in a messy room. No more long jumps over laundry from the door of my room to my bed. From now on, I’ll walk like a HUMAN BEING.
5. Get fun- With all the work I’ll be doing, I should realistically use that spending money in a utilitarian sense and buy something fun for myself. We’ll see what that is when I’m not drowning in debt.

That should cover my main goals. Feel free to totally copy me and make your own “get x” themed list. No seriously. I won’t mind. I have lawyers on speed dial.

See you Sunday where you get to look at a comic that I didn’t do for my school paper! That’s right, everyone! Exclusive content!

Moving

This Monday was a day of learning. I learned so much this Monday. As it turns out, moving is the worst. That is what I learned. Moving sucks.

DON'T DO IT IT'S NOT WORTH IT

One would think that I would have had to do a full move from one house to another before I turned 21, but that didn’t happen. Moving into residence isn’t quite the same as moving into a new house, and the house I was in before gave me an opportunity to move in small waves, rather than in a single day. Unfortunately, this streak had to end. Due to my crippling inexperience regarding the matter, I was also hardly prepared, vastly underestimating the amount of stuff in my room, and completely forgetting that there were also a ton of kitchen appliances that weren’t going to get up and move out of the house on their own.

Mother Goose is a book of lies

The worst part of this whole ordeal is that I only moved a block away. I woke up at 8 am and toiled for 11 hours straight going back and forth from house to house, dealing with the fact that a girl wouldn’t let us in the new place because she wanted to take a two hour nap. One block. This is only a taste of the horrible feelings that will accompany my next move—one in which the houses are separated by a two-hour drive.

The only reason that this woman could be happy in a moving truck is that she has clearly gone insane

A mere two days after my pathetic one-block house switcharoo, I still feel mental fatigue and physical pain. I can only imagine what the nightmare of a larger move will bring.

See you all Friday when I piss of my girlfriend by stealing her laptop and hammering a post out at her house after her family cooks me dinner.

The Adventures of Billy the Slug Boy| Episode 3: Dinner Date

Hot Damn! Jolly Rancher Booze Time!

I don’t know if you people have heard of this amazing concoction, but if you take about six shots of vodka, and pour it on top of about one pack of Jolly Ranchers, you can come back in about six hours and have some amazing flavoured vodka. This stuff is still basically 40%, and should not be a thing that can be made in the leisure of one’s own home. Literally, the hardest part of this is finding a bottle that fits Jolly Ranchers down its neck, and won’t dissolve in contact with the terrible vodka that is still barely affordable. Anyway, I missed you guys! Exams suck!

Screw you, stock photo exam writer.

In other news, I shaved off all but 10mm of my hair off, which turned out to be less hideous than I had feared. The biggest downside was in the middle of the night right after when I woke up, and moved back, waiting for my hair to hit the backboard. Of course, my hair had been cut off and I smashed my head onto the back of the bed, startling me and waking me up all the way. Yes, it was still embarrassing despite the fact that I was alone.

I’m back people.

See you Sunday when I bring Billy the Slug Boy III onto the site and end the series for good. There is only so much slug-related humour that exists.